Andaz Apna Apna

Prologue: One of the cult hits. One of my favorites which I revisit quite often. Reliving the magic with superb dialogues.

Ailaaa!!

Govindaa…

Jamailaa tu kaun??

Khandaani chor hun main, khandaani… Mogambo ka bhateeja GOGO !!

Aankhen nikaal kar gotiya khelunga….

Main Teja hoon kyunki mera naam bhi Teja hain..

Teja Main hoon, Mark Idhar hai.

Kaun sa mark re …. kahe ka mark yaar…

Yeh Teja Teja Kya Hai??? Ye Teja Teja …..??

Ailaa !! Seeta aur Geeta ??!! Seeta aur Geeta nahi be, Raam aur Shaam. Han han wohi wohi

Unkey ek ek sawal hamarey do do jawab.

Sawal Ek Jawab Do. Sawal jawab sawal jawab.

Chupp…….

Jab koi bachcha nahin sota, to uski maa kehti hai ki … soja soja soja nahin toh Gogo aa jayega.

Gogoji mein toh aapke karname bachpan se sunta aara hun… aap to gyani hai, antaryami hai, shaktiman hai, budhiman hai, balki mein to kehta hun aap toh purush hi nahi…Mahapurush hai.. Mahapurush!!

Gogo Sahab, aapka ghaghra.

Yeh pistol khali nahin hai. Dishkaon….

Dhak ki tiki dhak ki tiki dhak ki tiki dhak ki tiki,,,dhaa….isme toh ek hee goli thi!!!

Kyun na hum yeh dhukhan bhej de acche paise milenge. Aainyy! Mera matlab hain un paison se hum log ek chudiyon ke dukhan kharidenge. Chudiyon ke dukhan?? Jee haan.Chudiyon ke dukhan. Zara sochiye sara din sundar sundar chehron ke beech main aur aap,Main betiyon ko chudi pehna raha hun Aap maaon ko chudiyaan pehna rahe hain. Kahin haasi ka jharna,Kahin nazaron ka ladna, Kahin zhulfon ka bhikharna,Kahin aachal ka sarakana. Aaan! Unke komal komal haath aapke moten moten haathon mein Aap pyar se chudiyaan pehna rahe hain woh nazakat se uinya uinya kar rahe hain Aap shararat se aa aa kar rahe hain. Aaaaaa. Babulaal kaha tha baal sambhal ke kata kar..

Uncle aa gaye , Uncle aa gaye. Uncle humne apni jaan par khel ke bachaya hai… aaiye aaiye uncle .. yahaan aage aaiye dandi pe Aaiye dandi pe,haan uncle dandi pe fit aa jayenge dandi pe fit aa jayenge, lekin phir mein chalaunga kaise aap piche baithiye na uski gohd mein baithiye gohd mein, Haan uncle gohdi mein baithiye gohdi mein..Chal Chal niche uttar gohd mein baith..niche uttar godhi wale

Ailaa!!

Juhi Chawla..

Mein bhagwan ko sakshi maankar tumhe tan aur man se swikar karthi hoon.

Mein bhi bhagwan ko sakshi maankar tumhe tan,man aur dhan se swikar karta hoon!

Yeh topi aapne New York se kharidi hai? nahi America se.. accha accha mujhe laga New York se..

Sala circus ka retired bandar lag raha hai.

Sala shakal se to bidi ke kharkhane ka majdoor lagta hain..

Chit aaya to main jeeta aur Pat aaya to tu haara

Chalega kya…kud kud ke chalega kud kud ke

Bhabhi hogi teri aur shadi hogi meri

Ooi ma!!

Happy Budday Robert!! Aapne bataya nahin sir, aaj mera bday hai.

Galti se mistake ho gaya.

Very smart!

Sir, Yeh Vasco da Gama ki Gun hain.

Kiske Mama ki Gun hain??

Tum jo ho woh tum nahi koi aur hai, woh jo hai woh woh nahi koi aur hai, main jo hoon woh main nahi, ya main bhi koi aur hoon? Main kaun hoon?

Main woh bala hoon, joh tum sabko kaccha chaba jaon … aur dhakaar bhi na loon

Mere naye pilan ke mutabik…

Aapka planning galat hai — aapne baap ko kidnap kiya aur betiyoon se paise maange, aapko betiyoon ko kidnap karna chahiye tha aur baap se paise maangne chahiye they

Jhakaaass…shabash cheetey, shabaash…Ab aya he oonth pahaad ke nichey.

Hilna nahin, hilna nahin … nahin toh hila ke rakh doonga.

Arey. Udhar idhar kya dekhte hain. Idhar udhar dekhiye.. Idhar udhar..

Mussal dekha mussal … masal ke rakh doonga

Arey samjhana kya hai kud hi samajdar log hai, tie upar topi neeche. Comment me…